I have never been a morning person. I love to sleep. When flying, I have been known to be asleep before take-off and wake up when landing, without drugs or alcohol. Maybe it's ironic that I own a bakery, especially since it's called the Night Kitchen. But my love of sleep is protected since I generally work a 10am-7pm shift. It's also important to note that I am a hypochondriac. I worry about dying and diseases and/or illnesses.
There are 2 times per year that I need to get to work while it's still dark out. Thanksgiving Eve and Christmas Eve. On these days I need to wake at 4:30am. Yesterday when the alarm buzzed I shook like a Betty Ford resident and made my way to the shower. The shaking and disoriented feeling stuck with me through the hot shower. I fixed my hair and applied my holiday makeup and then noticed something frightening. The left side of my face was drooping. I stepped closer to the mirror and stared in horror while my heart was racing. Did I have a stroke in my sleep? Could this have happened when I was in the shower? Will a stroke be an adequate "get out of work" excuse and allow me to go back to sleep?
Closer examination revealed lip liner applied below the lip on the left side, giving the illusion of a drooping lip. No stroke.
I continued my morning chores taking the dog, Iggy, for a walk. Mind you I never walk the dog when it's dark outside. While my neighborhood is very safe, you never know when someone is lurking around the corner waiting to bludgeon you to death. So Iggy and I are about 3 blocks from the house when I hear this loud grizzly man noise. I froze, my heart racing, thinking of how to defend myself if this creature attacks. Can I fling the baggie of dog poo at him? Clobber him with my flashlight? Where is this would-be assassin? And if I have a heart attack and fall to the ground will I die before someone discovers me?
Out of the morning fog comes an enormous man walking a teeny tiny dog, coughing up a lung--the man, not the dog.
No murder, no heart attack, no stroke.
Lesson--I shouldn't be awake before 8am.
